| Female Psychology Part 4 - Congruence |
| Written by Craig | |||||||||||
| Tuesday, 19 August 2008 17:13 | |||||||||||
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This is the last instalment of the mini-series of articles about female psychology. It aims to give you a great understanding of congruence, confidence, pre-selection and challenge, and why they are important to women.
Those articles lead into this article about the final characteristic that women desire, which is congruence. Congruence is then broken down into 3 sub-parts, called -
To give you a little recap of the previous articles, here is the list again – Foundations –
Attributes –
Congruence –
Female Psychology - Congruence
Women meet many men daily who show some interest in them. Many men exaggerate or only show the ‘good’ side when they do this, so women need a way to find out if what they are seeing is faked or not. This is where congruence comes in. If you are congruent with what you are saying, you will pass the test. If you are not, she’ll know and she will fail you and fail you hard. One of the first things a woman does is look for congruence. If they can’t find it, they won’t be interested in you at all. You may say you are the richest person in the world, but if you don’t play the part of the richest person in the world, you may seem incongruent. For women to understand congruence they often look for 3 characteristics, they are pre-selection, confidence and challenge. If you have these, she will know you have a lot going for you. If you don’t, she’ll assume you don’t have much going for you. Confidence
Confidence, I’m sure you hear that word a lot when reading material such as this to improve your chances with women. That’s because confidence is important, whether you like it or not. Can you drive? If so, do you remember your first driving lesson? There’s a good chance you believed the chance of you driving great the first time was slim, so you drove slow and cautiously. You hoped nothing happened out of the ordinary, encase you couldn’t handle it. Now think about driving today, how easy is it? How good are you at it? You know you’re good at it; it’s no big deal at all. You can even listen to music, eat or answer a phone in complete confidence, knowing you can probably handle anything that’ll come at you. Now that I’ve got you to think about that, now think about your confidence in life and with women. A man who is confident with woman is basically saying “I’m good at this stuff, there is nothing that can happen that I can’t handle”. Women feel good around confident men because they feel safer, knowing that he can handle any situation that’ll come up. She assumes he knows what he’s doing. When you feel confident your body language changes to reflect this. That is why body language is so important in the dating scene. For example, confident men have relaxed shoulders, this shows they are not afraid of being attacked and are there for not raising their shoulders to protect their neck. Confidence is in some part correlated to success, so over time women developed inner mechanisms to desire the trait of confidence which would mean they have much higher success chances of having health children who are successful.
Implications of this Characteristic
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Women know that if other women are attracted to a man (pre-selection) that he’s something to be desired. While many tastes differ, many women still want the same basic core qualities and many of these can be achieved simply by looking to see if he is pre-selected by other women.
Pre-selection is a great thing, but should only be used in moderation. Let’s invent a man who is irresistible. He would have a high pre-selection, but may not be very popular since women would then start asking questions such as, would he stay with me? Remember that the pre-selection mechanism is primarily built for women to find high quality men to have sex with then have health and successful children with, if she feels he may leave her after sex, she’ll be at a disadvantage.
Implications of this Characteristic
- Never talk about lack of success with women. Even if a woman has told you about her lack of success with men, never mention your lack of success if you have it.
- If you are enjoying increased success with women recently, don’t mention it. Just act like it’s always been that way.
- Being seen with or referring to other attractive women. Gives you great pre-selection vibes, because it shows other attracted women are interested in you.
- Pre-selection is relative and in context. Women often are more affected by pre-selection if the woman who is interested in you is more attractive in her eyes to her.

Challenging
A man, who is successful in life, generally will want to have an attractive woman. He won’t rush to the first woman he sees and he will have high standards, in short. He will be a challenge.
People value what they have to work for. You’ll feel more pleased if you get a job after attending 10 interviews, rather than attending 1. So a woman will enjoy the challenge to get a challenging man and she sill value you more.
Implications of this characteristic
- Never give off the vibes of desperate or lonely.
- Make her work to get you. Not too much or she’ll get bored, but make sure there is some doubt in her mind before you commit.
- Just because she is interested in you, doesn’t mean you have got to be interested in her.
- Don’t play too hard to get.
- Don’t be affected by little games that women play.
This brings us to the end of the female psychology mini-series. After having read all the articles you should have pretty good knowledge about female psychology and how each of the processes work, thus giving you a better success rate with women and dating. To clarify what the articles have taught you, I’d like to add a final paragraph or two.
What have you Learned?
After learning the congruent qualities in this article you’ve completed the list of female psychology that I’ve given to you at the beginning of each article, now you know that man who has all these qualities will be –
- Healthy
- Socially Skills (Social Intuition)
- Funny (Humour)
- High-status
- Wealthy
- Confident
- Pre-selected
- Challenging
If you are still not convinced by this list of traits, then show it to a female friend and ask her. Would you go for a man with these traits? Her answer should prove my point. For you to be that man you may need to do some hard work first. You will need to practise these qualities and then present them as often as possible in large social gatherings around women you don’t know until you just accept them and they become part of you.
If you follow this advice you will soon see a massive increase in your success with women, and if you still don’t believe it. At least give it a try. Good luck my friend!
If you enjoyed reading this article I’d suggest you read related articles such as 13 Most Common Female Courtship Gestures, Is she a Chest, Legs or Bum gal?, 6 Fundamentals to be a Master Pick-up Artist and The World's Best Chat-up Line.
Books I Recommend
These books will hold a lot more information than this article supplies alone. My favourites are The Body Language Bible which is an extremely good book if you want to quickly understand women through their body language, and the Secrets of Sexual Body Language which will reveal to you exactly why she is into you. The other books I've listed are also extremely good in this area and I highly recommend them.
Craig is a 22-year-old student currently studying psychology at Bournemouth University. He runs a self improvement blog and community filled with useful advice. His main aim is to help people exceed their expectations and reach their true potential.If you enjoyed this post, get free updates via |
Useful Links
- Top Fantasies
- Approach Woman in Bars and Clubs
- Female Techniques
- PUA Training
- Attraction isn't a Choice
- Bad Body Language
- Power Sexuality
'On The Run' Summary
This is a broken down version of the above article. The 'On The Run' Summary is here to provide you with basic headers and points about the article so you can get the 'idea'.
Female Psychology - Congruence
- Congruence basically means to have an internally consistent personality. If you’re confident on the inside, you walk with confidence for example.
- Women meet many men daily who show some interest in them. Many men exaggerate or only show the ‘good’ side when they do this, so women need a way to find out if what they are seeing is faked or not. This is where congruence comes in.
- Confidence, I’m sure you hear that word a lot when reading material such as this to improve your chances with women. That’s because confidence is important, whether you like it or not.
- Confidence is in some part correlated to success, so over time women developed inner mechanisms to desire the trait of confidence which would mean they have much higher success chances of having health children who are successful.
Implications of this Characteristic
- Men tend to build confidence best by achieving things that can be counted. Such as improving a 100lb bench press to a 110lb, this will increase the confidence he feels, because he has achieved something he can see.
- Consciously base your self-esteem on factors other than women’s approval
- Don’t be arrogant. A lot of men fall into this trap, me in included. People who talk about how great they are at a certain thing (even if they are great at it) are deemed greatly insecure by other people. So avoid this at all costs.
- Women know that if other women are attracted to a man (pre-selection) that he’s something to be desired. While many tastes differ, many women still want the same basic core qualities and many of these can be achieved simply by looking to see if he is pre-selected by other women.
Implications of this Characteristic
- Never talk about lack of success with women. Even if a woman has told you about her lack of success with men, never mention your lack of success if you have it.
- If you are enjoying increased success with women recently, don’t mention it. Just act like it’s always been that way.
- Being seen with or referring to other attractive women. Gives you great pre-selection vibes, because it shows other attracted women are interested in you.
- Pre-selection is relative and in context. Women often are more affected by pre-selection if the woman who is interested in you is more attractive in her eyes to her.
- A man, who is successful in life, generally will want to have an attractive woman. He won’t rush to the first woman he sees and he will have high standards, in short. He will be a challenge.
Implications of this characteristic
- Never give off the vibes of desperate or lonely.
- Make her work to get you. Not too much or she’ll get bored, but make sure there is some doubt in her mind before you commit.
- Just because she is interested in you, doesn’t mean you have got to be interested in her.
- Don’t play too hard to get.
- Don’t be affected by little games that women play.
- After learning the congruent qualities in this article you’ve completed the list of female psychology that I’ve given to you at the beginning of each article, now you know that man who has all these qualities will be –
- Healthy
- Socially Skills (Social Intuition)
- Funny (Humour)
- High-status
- Wealthy
- Confident
- Pre-selected
- Challenging

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Craig is a 22-year-old student currently studying psychology at Bournemouth University. He runs a 